Onyinye Ubah

Circa – 2018

Dear beautiful girl,

My name is Onyinye. I am not 22. I’m not 23. I’m not even 24. Rumour has it that some ladies lie about their age but in my own case, reverse is the case. I see rolling of eyes, I see endless laughter, I see funny smiles – all because I disclosed my age. During the just concluded world cup, a young chap came my way trying to be my ‘friend’. He did all the usual stunts of ‘toasting’ but in my heart of hearts, I knew that plane didn’t have an engine talk more of even taking off. But I have a weakness – I smile a lot. That was exactly what I kept doing. Finally, the day came for me to finally set him free. I began the tale of how I watched France ’98, Nigeria’99 and the things that made those tournaments very outstanding, I began to notice his sudden withdrawal until I stopped hearing from him. Did I do anything wrong? Nope. I only discovered he was born in 1995!

My good friend, Mr Chris who lectures me on management and maximising opportunities on hearing my age, leaned across the table and told me,

‘Onyi, you don’t just look young, but you look very innocent.’

Did I feel insulted? Nope. We spent the next couple of minutes laughing endlessly. That simple statement gave birth to our friendship.

Dear beautiful lady, you are perfect the way you are.

Meanwhile, I hear of a new trend now. A man meets a lady on social media. They begin to talk raw, dirty and wild. The man sends a picture of his ‘banana’ which might be ‘international’. The lady in return sends the picture of what she has on her chest which might be a lime or a watermelon. If she’s very generous, she might also add the picture of the oil well in between her legs. She sends her account number and he transfers her transport fare. Boom! A dick appointment is set up. She travels all the way from Lagos to Kafanchan. When I hear such stories, I don’t even look at it from the moral aspect, I look at the safety aspect first. What if he turns to a snake or a snail in the night,or begins to act funny, please, what will you tell your ancestors?

Dear beautiful girl, it is not normal.

You are told that a man is responsible for upkeep – your hair, make up, dresses,pant and bra, in fact, every good thing that will make you happy. But because the economy has ‘changed’ and things have fallen apart, it’s safer to have at least two or three of them that will take care of your various needs depending on their strength.

Dear beautiful girl, it is not true.

You are told that when you are done with your education, you shouldn’t kill yourself that Mr. Right will soon come and all your problems will end. You are encouraged not to be too ambitious or successful that you might end up intimidating an average suitor. The kind of man that will be intimidated by your success is who you don’t even need around you.

Dear beautiful girl, go on and succeed.

You are told that for every pretty lady that drives a car, pays her rent, goes on vacation,takes a picture in a hotel room, that there is every possibility that she is a small girl with a big god. After all, who doesn’t have a sugar daddy or do some kind of runs especially if she’s in Lagos and works or lives on the Island?

Dear beautiful girl, know your worth!

Don’t get me wrong, we know that people do terrible things to live a good life but there are a lot who hustle and work hard with their legs closed. I know a lady who is a gold Smith and while we are asleep in the night, she’s awake and busy designing various jewelry. By this time of the year, she flies outside the country and pamper herself while flooding our timelines with pictures of the sights and sounds of her vacation and somebody somewhere will think it is not legit. There are thousands of ladies breaking the norms, changing the status quo, being innovative, joining the 20 under 20s in Africa,30 under 30s, racking their brains on how to create a sustainable change.

Dear beautiful girl, join this kind of movement.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love. I love to be held and to hold. I love to be appreciated and given attention. I love to be told how beautiful I am. I love to walk hand in hand with a man as we sink our feet in the white sands on the beach. I love to play. I love romantic things that make my head go gaga.

Dear beautiful girl, please don’t suspend your brain. You are more than enough!

What are your thoughts? I want to hear from you!

Don’t forget to comment and share.

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20 Responses

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  3. Hello there! This article couldn’t be written much better!
    Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He always kept preaching about this. I’ll forward this post to him.
    Pretty sure he will have a very good read. Thank you for sharing!

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